The Queen's Impending Visit

Welcome to today's rambling post! Considering I haven't really done a huge amount today, when I laid down in a dark room mid afternoon (just to avoid the current tantrum from my toddler! Bring on bed time!) I actually had to chuckle at a few things that occured!

Joshua is being a proper toddler this last week, I mean we are experiencing tantrum after tantrum. It's like he's suddenly realised he can be independant and he doesn't have to do everything we say. Therefore just because he knows this, he purposely pushes the boundaries. It's all fun and games to him. To me? It's like my head is being run over by a bus, the bus then stopping, reversing back over my head and then telling it's friends to join in. That's how frustrating it is, yup bring on wine-o-clock this evening!

Josh decided to have one of said tantrums this morning and lost his footing and toppled backwards and tried to catch his balance. Sadly what he used to try and catch his balance was the tv cord in our bedroom which was never going to hold him and he pulled our new tv down to the floor. It was something we saved for as a treat in the sales (Joshua broke the last one when Peppa Pig refused to come out of the dvd player so he decided to give it a 'helping hand') so Daddy lost his temper and shouted, probably louder than expected and upset Joshua. I must now point out that my son is the king of holding a grudge. If you upset him he will not be your friend, or forgive you with ease. You have to work bloody hard to earn his forgiveness. It's already cost me a fortune in nice snacks and toys. Wonder where he gets that from?!

So that was it, daddy and Josh weren't friends.

So what did Josh do, and made sure Daddy saw? He picked up his picture of mummy and daddy in his fluffy frame, walked to the kitchen, opened the bin and dropped it in. It was hilarious, he then turned to look at daddy, stared him out, came over to mummy and gave me a big cuddle. If it hadn't been such a classic moment I would have been worried that my son was so calculating! So what did Daddy learn today? Never upset Joshua if you don't want your heart ripped out in one single action of toddler revenge! What did I learn? My son is very, very clever!

After this I had to get on with the important job of the day. Preparing for the Queens visit. Yes the Queen is visiting tomorrow.

Really!

The Queen. A.K.A - my partners mother is coming over. We don't have the greatest of relationships (to put it mildly) and I am very happy we only have to see them a few times a year as they live far away (Thank you God). A few seasonal visits is enough for me thank you very much. Now you may think I'm harsh but it's all deserved. I don't just dislike people to this degree for no reason, she's earnt her status from me! I best stop now as I will ruin tomorrows post which will reveal (in painstaking detail) what happens during the dreaded visit but suffice to say I'm really, really not looking forward to it. I may have to hook up some sort of IV with happy hormones to counteract the stress, misery and anger that takes hold when something involves the Queen. Or run away.

I would finally like to sum up my day with one final point, to leave you with one thought which I hope will make you feel better about your own day. I have just now realised I've been walking around, all day with my leggings on inside out. Oh Yes. The stress of tomorrow's impending visit has driven me to loose the ability to even dress myself properly. Who gave me a child to look after if I can't even dress myself?!

Love Chloe
xx

I Pod Shuffle Task!

So I have been tagged by Moors-Mummy over at http://moors-mummy.blogspot.com/ to put my i-pod on shuffle and see what my first five songs played are! I really enjoyed doing this and it gave me a nice break from the housework!

I have 3300 songs on my ipod as I love music! I also never delete music I don't listen to so I am slightly amused by the findings for this task! The five songs were:

1.C U When You Get There - Coolio (yes I'm a 90's r'n'b lover!)
2.Angel - Kate Voegele (She's an American singer, quite country style and pretty unheard of over here)
3.I don't Need A Man - Pussycat Dolls (I thought this was HILARIOUS when it came on!)
4.She Is - The Fray (Another band more popular Stateside than here, must say most of my music taste is based in the states!)
5.Lights - Ellie Goulding (Love this album!)

What does this task say about me?! Well my favourite music genres are r'n'b, melody and secretly I love a bit of country! Most of my music falls somewhere in there but I do have a lot of my teenage days pop on my ipod too (cringe as I see Avril Lavinge etc on the list). What has this task taught me?! I think my i-pod is in need of a cleanse!

To continue the task I tag the following:

Emma Louise at Fallen Angel to Yummy Mummy (http://fallenangel-yummymummy.blogspot.com/)
Snoo & Me at Snoo and Me (http://snooandme.blogspot.com/)
Mel at Adventures of Mummy, Daddy and Finn (http://mummy-roc-babyboy.blogspot.com/)
Zoe at Youngish Single Mother (http://youngishsinglemother.blogspot.com/)
Kate at Makeshift Mummy (http://www.makeshiftmummy.com/)
Emily at Life of A Single Mummy (http://emily1983singlemummy.blogspot.com/)

The only rules-link back to me too and sorry if you've been tagged already!

Chloe xx

My Experience With Miscarriage Part 2

Following on from yesterdays post where I talked about the miscarriage of my first child I want to talk about what was for me the second part of the miscarriage-when I fell pregnant again, with my son.

After loosing a baby many people become determined to try again as soon as it is safe to do so. Because I was so young I took that yearning to replace what I had lost and turned it in to some sort of motivation to work hard and make something of myself. In return I promised myself that when I was ready, when the time was right I would be that mother I so desperately wanted to be. I spent the next six years working my way up through the media ranks to Account Manager. By the time I was 20 I was driving a brand new company car, company laptop, i-pad, phone, expenses account-the works and I owned a house and most importantly was financially stable. I was and am proud of my career (pre Joshua). So when I fell pregnant I knew the time was right for me to be a mummy.

However from very early on the excitement wasn't the prodominant emotion in my pregnancy. It wasn't an easy time for several reasons, one of them being the fear that gripped me from the beginning. Loosing a baby means you are terrified of it happening again. You know worrying about it is probably one of the most unhealthy things you can do, but you can't help it. Every little thing is anylised on a newly formed threat scale-would it POTENTIALLY cause harm to the baby and POTENTIALLY cause another miscarriage? If the answer even remotely flicked towards yes or even maybe, it didn't happen and everything became over thought and stressful. I am very organised but like the occassional bout of spontinaity and my early pregnancy caused this part of my personality to cower and hide.

Early pregnancy doesn't give you any natural reassurances either. I felt horribly sick for the first three and a half months of my pregnancy but I read that you wouldn't neccessarily loose the morning sickness side of things even if you miscarried so even that wouldn't alert me to something being wrong. I was such a nervous wreck I paid £100 for a private scan at 8 weeks to make sure my baby was safe, seeing his little heart beating on the screen was overwhelming. It gave me reassurance for about two days before I reverted back to worrying again. I tried not to read things that would make this worse but I couldn't help it. I was under 30 years old so I apparantly had a 10% chance of miscarriage then I read that because my last pregnancy was a miscarriage hat meant my odds were 19% of a miscarriage..I stopped reading statistics after that, it only made things worse.

As my pregnancy progressed I rented a fetal heart monitor so I could listen to my babies heart beat once a day (any more isn't regarded as safe) so when I was at the high's of daily anxiety I would lay down and find his little beating heart and relief would flood over me...only to return hours later. It was a stressful cycle.

When Josh began to move I felt elated and I think that is when I relaxed a teeny bit. He moved quite a lot so every day I would feel him and used the heart monitor less. I did have days when I barely felt him and would call my midwife for reassurance-she was great and very understanding. Generally when you feel that life you created moving you feel more aware of their prescence and therefore you don't allow your brain to play such alarming tricks on you. Not as often anyway.

By the time I reached my last 6 weeks I was teetering on pre-eclampsya and every other day I would have to go to hospital to be monitored for anything from ten minutes to two hours. This increased to almost daily towards the end but I actually found it reassuring to hear and see my babies heart beat so frequently. I also had a growth scan at 35 weeks because I was measuring so small so again another reassurance was seeing my baby boy, fully formed, rolling around. As I told the sonographer he hadn't moved much that day, baby gave the biggest kick and I think I looked as if I lied! He was deffinately a footballer like his daddy, we agreed!

When Josh finally arrived after a horrific 33 hour labour ending in surgery I was so relieved. Relief Relief Relief. He was here. It had all been worth it. Looking back now from that second I laid to rest my first baby. I let go of that last little piece of grieving and I didn't even know it. It was the final part of moving on for me.

Don't get me wrong I lok at Josh now and sometimes think about the things I missed out on with baby number one. I always felt he was a boy and to me I would have called him Ben (which is why when Ben was suggested to me by my partner for Joshua's name, it was out of the question) and he holds a very special place in my heart. Everyone thinks about their miscarriage differently. Do I think Josh has a 'brother', will I tell him so? No, I don't fell that. I do feel that my baby boy is in heaven waiting for me but that's as far as it goes in that sense. He was my first baby and that is somehing no-one or nothing can take away but it doesn't hold the same sadness it once did.

Having Josh reconfirmed something I had grown to know about my first pregnancy. I wasn't ready for motherhood then and I am now. I can accept now that loosing my baby was meant to be. It was the most painful, low point but it was natures way of correcting something. That may sound awful to you but I know I take every possible chance to be the best mum I can be, to provide the very best for my son. He deserves that and I know if I had my first son I would have been in constant pain for not being able to provide what he deserved. I couldn't have given him all the wonderful things he deserved. That doesn't mean I don't love that baby, but it wasn't meant to be and I would have been in far more pain because I couldn't give him these things. More pain than loosing him.

Miscarriage is one of those things. Horrific. Intense. Sad. But in my opinion babies that are miscarried are not meant for this world, they are meant for the next. They hold special places in millions of hearts and leave imprints as deep as if they lived and walked with us. I hope that every woman who's suffered a miscarriage can find their own sense of peace like I have. I believe you can take something so awful, something that can push you to the brink of breaking and take it as something to steer your maternal instincts in the best possible direction.

I have. I did it for my first son.

Chloe xx

My Experience With Miscarriage Part 1

I want to write about something today that I don't ever talk about. Occasionally I will make reference to that fact that I've experienced it if a conversation calls for it. However, other than that it's not something I will bring up whenever I feel like. I'm talking about miscarriage.

Sadly one in four women will experience a miscarriage. This figure changes to one in five if you have already done a positive pregnancy test. For me my story isn't just painful, I like to think it's one of strength too. It's also taken me years not to feel ashamed of the situation that landed me pregnant and then resulted in the dreadful miscarriage which shaped my teens.

When I was sixteen years old I was already going out clubbing on a Saturday night. I was far from wild, I've never done drugs and I very rarely got too drunk to know my limits. I've always been called 'the sensible one' so although I was going clubbing underage I didn't and still don't think there was anything wrong with it. If you can get in to a nightclub at 16, face facts your going to go. I met my boyfriend at the time out one night, he was a little older than me and we started 'going out'. It wasn't serious but I was in that teenage loved up head space. It didn't last long though because I wouldn't 'put out' and he eventually slep with someone else. I was upset of course. I've always been a deep thinker and I heard a quote once 'I'm a victim of my own insides' and that sums me up. My mind is my biggest enemy because I over think things and I allow my thoughts to dictate my moods. I decided that I wanted him back although I was't really that bothered, so I assume it was my pride. Ever heard the saying "Pride comes before a fall"-well it's very true. One night I made it clear I would sleep with him and seeing as I was staying at a friend's that night I knew my parents wouldn't ever find out that I hadn't come home. The experience was horrible and to cut a long story short I was only doing it to keep him happy. It was painful and I said I wanted to stop several times but in the haze of alcohol it didn't stop and that was that. I don't think about it in THAT way so please don't view it as that. The next day we went back to my friends but my parents found out I hadn't gone home and I got in a lot of trouble. I was grounded for a month. Oh well, I felt quite dirty and used. Not fulfilled and liberated like I expected. Something I knew through my Christian upbringing to cherish, was gone in one night. But I wasn't about to sit and mope about.

A month or so later I was finally allowed out again and in and amoungst studying for my GCSE'S a night out was in need. However at the end of the night a friend of my ex-boyfriends approached me and asked me if I was feeling ok. Of course I was, I was great (take that ex-boyfriend) when he told me something which I still remember hearing. He told me the boy hadn't used protection. In amoungst the fumblings, the apprehension and millions of other feelings asscociated with that night I hadn't realised we hadn't been protected. How did I know, I hadn't had anything to compare it to. I know we had a condom at the start but by the end it wasn't there and I had blocked this from my mind and not seen any danger in it. I'm not one of those stupid girls who quotes the whole 'you can't get pregnant on your first time' because that's idiotic, of course you can. But I literally didn't put two and two together until that very moment when it also clicked that my period was late-something I put down to the stress of exams. I knew in that very moment something was off here, something was off with me and I was instantly terrified as I saw the word 'pregnant' flash before my eyes.

In the few days that followed I couldn't do much about this bombshell. I didn't have a car and my parents weren't going out so I couldn't buy a pregnancy test. But I did speak to the ex-boyfriend who confirmed what his friend had told me and even went as far as to say he was angry at his friend for re-laying the infomation to me. I thought this was rich considering if I was pregnant then I would have realised it soon enough anyway. Two days later I finally got a test, it was negative. But then again I was only a little late. Something inside me stopped me from the easy relief that could come from the negative result. So after a few more days of no period I took a friend with me to a local walk in centre where I knew I would get a free pregnancy test with a nurse.

It didn't take long for the pink line to appear and the bottom of my world fell out. The room started swimming and I don't remember much about what followed in that half hour because the enormity of what was happening hit me in one swoop. But suprise was one emotion I didn't feel. I had known it from the second I knew we hadn't protected ourselves against this. I was sixteen, and pregnant. Way to conform to the stereotype there Chloe.

My friend came with me to see a type of counciler who specialised in speaking to pregnant teens. We discussed my options and although she was comforting, her opinion that my parents would take the news better than I expected didn't give me any reassurance. I knew that they would go beserk to say the least. As for the baby, well I didn't know what to think. Of course I wanted to keep it but the realistic side of me knew I couldn't possibly know where to begin. Did I want to terminate the baby? I didn't know if I could do that without my brain driving me to insania but likewise I didn't know if I was equipped to be a mother at sixteen.

I don't really want to talk about what happened inbetween this point and when I lost the baby. When I told my parents, it did not go well and it's a period of time that makes me very emotional because I felt isolated and alonbe and I lacked any support. My friends were great but I stopped going to school for the next week and study leave kicked in anyway so I shyed away from their calls. I was totally alone in my 'problem' and my parents seemed to only see the impact on their own lives and made it all about them. It's a point in my life where I felt bleak, unloved and unowrthy. One of the lowest points in my life. On top of it all I was craving odd foods which I found got my parents backs up so I had to pretend it wasn't happening and the constant over the top happiness I had to emit at all times as my way of searching for acceptance in the situation was exhausting, on top of my body being tired due to the pregnancy.

I went to the doctors, we discussed dates and possibilities. But before I could go any further another pregnancy test showed up negative and it was confirmed my baby had died. Within weeks I had gone from carefree teen, pregnant at 16, to un-pregnant teen again. It all happened so fast and my feet barely touched the ground. Was it wrong to feel relief? Because that was the first thing I felt. But then sadness and to a degree opression. I know that might seem dramatic but I had to supress my emotions as I was made to feel I was such an awful person for inflicting this on my parents anyway. At no point did I feel any sympathy was given to me, no compassion. But at least I knew I could now go forward and I had options again.

As time went by my sadness begain to knaw at my brain. I became quite depressed which I personally think was down to keeping it all inside. At one point I was made to sit in front of my vicor and admit my sins and ask for forgiveness. I've never felt so bitter in my life. Not just because I was made to apologise to my mum too for putting her through it. As if it was something I had intentionally done. I'm not saying I wouldn't have done anyway but being forced to made me bitterly resent it. One thing my parents didn't do was ground me or try and stop me leaving the house. I was greatful for this and I guess it was because the worst that a teenage daughter can do is come home pregnant and I'd already got that t-shirt. I think they knew me well enough to know I'd learnt my lesson.

That was eight years ago now. I can honestly say that no other situation has shaped me as a person more than that. It moulded me and carved out of the person I was before a whole new Chloe. For years becuase I supressed how I felt about it I battled depression. I met a boyfriend who was my first love when I was 17 and no other person has helped me more than he helped me come to terms with what happened. I will forever be greatful to him for that. I began to keep diaries at the time this happened, I captured images and lyrics that helped me express my feelings to a degree and looking back on them now I always get a lump in my throat. The childlike writings expressing something so adult makes me so enormously sad. And seeing the loneliness I felt on paper makes me cry even now. I wrote a letter to my baby and kept it in one of those diaries, I can't ever bring myself to read it in full. It's too hard.

When you have a miscarriage, a part of you dies too. But in the space that's left something grows. Well it did for me anyway. Determination to be a good parent, when the time was right. A level of love that hadn't been there before for the baby I lost and the babies I knew I would have in the future. I also re-filled some of that space, that loss with maturity. I grew up very fast when I lost my first baby and I learnt so much about myself in the years that followed.

Do I regret the experience? Do I feel guilty? Would I change anything? No. It was a far from an ideal situation but I have come to terms with it. I'm proud of myself for getting through that, mostly on my own. At times I wanted to run away from the whole lot, leave everything behind in one way or another but I was strong and I overcame it and I'm so much stronger because of it. I don't regret it because it's made me who I am today. I don't often associate sadness with the memory of it now either, time truly is a healer.

Tomorrow I am going to write part two of my experience with miscarriage and how it affected my pregnancy with my son. So please check back then for part two.

Thank you for reading this, it's been hard to write.

Chloe xx

Messy Play With Custard!

So after reading Emma's post at http://theygrowsoquick.blogspot.com/ I had to use her idea of messy play with custard for my son. He absolutely loves messy play! And seeing as daddy is attached to the television screen during 'football hours' all afternoon on saturdays, I decided today we would devote our time to messy play.

I haven't really indulged Josh's love of messy play at home-I'm far too tidy and the idea of cleaning up extra mess always puts me off, that and the fact that since we relocated we rent a house and I'm terrified of marking the walls, carpet ceiling etc (yes the ceiling too-my son has an excellent aim!) So I usually avoid it but as I touched on yesterday's post, Josh is very very fussy with textures so it seemed a no brainer to get him involved with some lovely gloopy custard to play with. He would have fun and also it would help gradually get him used to wet textures, which in turn I hope will help with his eating habbits.

We bought a pack of tesco custard powder for 16p and mixed it with 3/4 pint of water and once ready I split the custard in to two bowls and added red food colouring to one to mix it up a bit. I thought I had blue colouring too but I didn't so next time we will get another colour to add to the mix too! After leaving the custard to cool, I coated the floor with bin bags and newspapers-for it's own protection, as my son takes no prisoners! I then got a spatula and some spoons etc and stripped Josh to his nappy. I let him play with some raisens too to give it an extra texture which went down a treat! He spent a good 45 minutes engrossed in flicking, mixing, touching and wiping the custard all over the place and luckily not much went on the floor! Sadly a lot when in his hair though-roll on bath time! After about 45 minutes he got cold so we stopped but he had a brilliant time-he was loving it!

For 16p I now think this will be a regular way to entertain Josh, he loved it and it kept him out of my hair long enough to do some housework in the kitchen! So thanks for the idea Emma! I've added some pictures, what do you think of Joshua's facials?! Sometimes he looked at the custard on his hands like it smelt offensive and would attack him at any minute and at other times he was in the throws of pure excitement! Funny or what!

I must say though by the time it had cooled the look and feel of it all bumpy and cold...made me a little sick in my mouth! So am I being a bad mummy encouraging Josh to play with it-maybe the reason he doesn't like wet textures it because they make him feel like that?!

Chloe x

Eventful Evening Follows Uneventful Day!

Ok so after a very uneventful yet equally lovely day two very exciting things have happened this evening. I'm therefore very happy that I no longer feel I'm old before my time in my daily outing being to the supermarket, and me actually enjoying it!

The first exciting thing to happen may be a disappointment for you to read but for me I was jumping with glee! Josh is now 16 months old and very fussy with textures. It's not taste's he struggles with but the textures of things. It's been playing on my mind more and more recently and I was working myself in to a mental panic seeing my son 18 years old and still eating cow and gate toddler meals in a posh restaurant. But despite my knowledge of the problem I've been unable to create a solution. This has been frustrating to say the least! Being the control freak I am when it comes to making the parenting decesions! My partner is utterly hopeless, this is not his field of expertese! Let me explain-my partner is an excellent daddy, he's great with Josh but he does what he's told when it comes to making decesions about how to parent Josh. He knows I know best. Either that or he just knows what's good for him! So anyway I've been working myself in to a food-orientated tizz which has meant I've gone on even longer only feeding my son the foods he will eat. It's been a cycle. Like I said it's texture not taste with Josh. You should see his face when he touches things like tomato, cucumber, carrot etc. Basically anything 'slimy' or wet and he won't even have it within an inch of his hand and he looks at it like it's something mummy stepped in, trod all through the house and then left for a month! Yup, he's not one for anything edible if it's not dry. And also bread. He won't touch sandwiches but loves toast. Very odd indeed.

So today it was time to take a new approach. For the millionth time I gave him the option of banana, nope he wasn't having any of it and would spit it out quickly if I managed to get some in his mouth. My mum told me that I used to love mashed banana so I thought I would give that a whirl or the rest of the thing was going to waste. What can I say, he ate the whole thing! He spat the odd bit out but ate everything really! I couldn't believe it, I was a very happy mummy! I made so much noise clapping and whopping and dancing away that I think I possibly frightened Josh and when his daddy came in I saw relief flood his face as if to say "Dad, the daft cow has finally gone and lost it, please remove her from my sight"! I'm so pleased but my excitement was short lived because now I'm thinking about all the other things-tomato, cucumber etc-I can't mash that up can I? So I still feel lost without a proper solution and would appreciate feedback via the comment button below! Needless to say I will bask in excitement for a little longer at this small positive step before I revent back to panic at the bigger picture!

The second thing is that I finally made a step towards persuing my dream. I've spent years working in media. I didn't plan it but I didn't know what to do when I left school and it's where I ended up. I stayed in media and quickly became and Account Manager which I really enjoyed. It's not my idea of a long term career though and I've spent years wanting to be a midwife. Things always prevented it and when I got pregnant I thought I had missed my chance to pursue my dream career. However having my son only made that bubble of aspiration much bigger. And if anything being a mum means I more than anything want a career I love in order to make it justifiable being away from Josh. So after months of prep I finally did it, I applied to go to university to be a midwife! I can't believe I've finally done it! Now it's out of my hands and up to the universities I've applied to! But I am so excited (and a little apprehensive!) that this could be the beginning of something I've wanted for a long time. Something so close to my heart. I would ultimately like to work towards being a specialist midwife who works with young mothers as for some reason ( I don't know why!) I feel called in that direction! So people of the blogging world, wish me luck-I need as much as I can get! EEK!

Love Chloe
xx

Happy Friday!

Today has been quite uneventful in my house. Joshua hasn't done anything almightly to write about and all the 'deep' posts that I have planned to write don't seem to be forming shape in my mind just yet so today I decided to take some pictures of me and Josh and baby daddy when we popped out...to the supermarket! Oh how exciting my life is! Yup, I am truly hardcore. I thought it would be nice to share some more pictures with all my lovely readers to give you more of any idea of who's behind the post. If you read my previous post about looking young you will now see what I mean! (cough I'm 24 cough)You will also note the lack of enjoyment on Joshua's face as we put him on a toy ride-I thought the expression was priceless but while I was happily laughing at him he suddenly started screaming-bad mummy! Anyway, here is my day in pictures!

Chloe xx

Fresh Faced Mummy Over Here!

One of the reasons that I started this blog was because of the isolation I sometimes feel as a young(ish) mother. I am, may I say 24 years old and in my opinion this has never been 'too young' to be a mum. My mum had me at 22 and I had Josh at 22. In my eyes any 'twenty something' aged female was able to be a mum without facing judgement. So imagine my suprise when this turned out to be incorrect.

Joshua and Mummy in December 2011

I am a very young looking 24 year old, I'm sure in ten years I will love this element of my facial features but for now it's the bain of my life as a mummy. When I mention my son in passing people usually respond "SON?! How old ARE you?!" to which I reply honestly and then there unbelieving responses begin. Shock and awe sometimes stop passes by too as they join in at the amazement. It's a bit annoying really. I may be the only person on the planet who is eagerly awaiting there first grey hair to add decadance to my age declarations. (Ok thats a bit extreme because I'm sure I will cry inside a little when that does happens for yes I am sadly very proud of my hair! Vain, I know.)

The lack of wedding ring doesn't help either. I can't moan, well actually yes I can moan! Come on Jamie (my baby daddy) pull your finger out! We've been together for 5 years this year, we have a mortgage a beautiful son and I have put up with a lot of his 'antics' in my time. I think I deserve a rock of some description. Now, please. Even one of those plastic, naff looking toy ones would do. So anyway when me and baby daddy are out together with Josh the judgement on us doubles. Baby daddy also looks like a teenager when actually he is even older than me! We look like the stereotypical teenage family living off benefits, well thats what a lot of the 'older generation' seem to be intent on saying loudly as we stroll by. I couldn't disagree more. I try really hard to fend off these judgements of being too young. We have a mortgage, we have two cars and before I had my son I had spent three years as an Account Manager at a national media company travelling here there and everywhere. Baby Daddy had a well paying job too, we were (and I know still are) very lucky in that sense.  So when I spend my money I don't enjoy hearing people in the queue say to their shopping partners that 'they' can't even afford to buy their child 'that' sort of toy, brand of food etc but 'SHE' (meaning me) can. Implying I'm spending their taxes on my son's favourite Ella's Kitchen pouch or treating him to a new Happyland toy. Oh no, this fresh faced mummy couldn't make her own money could she?! Grrr.

I realised what I was up against when I became pregnant (I think it was worse then, I remember when I was about six months pregnant and only just showing walking around shopping for baby clothes this woman physically did a double take in front of me and ground to a complete halt. I was mortified.) I quickly made effort to ward off some of these unjust stares in the street. I saved like a mad woman for a lovely branded pushchair, thinking this would help people see I clearly wasn't selfishly living on benefits (there is nothing wrong with living on benefits if you need them by the way). It didn't work though because most of the people who judge me are far too old to know the difference between a Quinny limited edition and a repeat episode of Quincy on tv. I also made an effort to have a full face of make-up, perfect hair etc which again didn't help because I can't change my actual face with my make up trowel, the only othe thing I can think of is walking around with a bag on my head. Even then I'm sure my shoes, or any other feture still showing would probably still give me away.

After it became apparant I couldn't stop these people from wrongly thinking I was a teenage mother I stopped trying so hard to make people think I was a teenage mother. I like to dress fashionably, although I am more of a cute ballerina pump or heels girl on some days I do like the whole skinny jeans and converse look. These days I deffinately get more stares but I have learnt to live with it. I like dressing how I dress and I can't help how I look so it seems irrelevant to try and change it for other people's benefit. Even if it would make my outings easier.

It doesn't mean it doesn't still niggle away at me when I park the car knowing I'm about to embrace a whole bunch of sideways glances as people cheack A.) my face for signs of age an B.) My ring finger, BUT I am now accustomed to it. I do sometimes try and loudly make refernce to my age, even if it's to my son-ie "Lets get Mummy a nice bottle of wine, she's nearly 25 so I think she's allowed" as it does make me feel better! Petty, yes but hey ho! The worst places are coffee shops which is sad for me because I pretty much avoid a nice pit stop when out and about. Never mind though, there are worse things going on in the world!

For now though I'm resigned to having a young face and a young son. I know to Joshua he doesn't care how old (or young) his mummy and daddy are and that's the most important thing. I would say this though, for every person we look at assuming they are too young to be a parent, for a portion of them this judgement is incorrect and unfair. I'm not saying I don't look at young mums in the street because sadly in today's day and age I think we all do this to some degree, but I now make the effort to show my biggest, warmest smile to them all. Regardless of how old I think they are.

Love Chloe

xx

Choo Choo!

 Review of The ELC Happyland Country Train Set

For some reason when I was pregnant with my son I developed a fascination with the Happyland Range at The Early Learning Centre. I thought it was so cute and innovative, although actually when you think about it, it's not innovative at all! I guess that's why even before my son was born I bought a few items when they were on offer and put them away thinking I would give them to him for his first Christmas.

I didn't really think that one through as my son was only 3 months old that first Christmas so the toys stayed in their box until this year when my son was 15 months at Christmas-perfect age for Hapyland introduction!

This Happyland Country Train Set was one of the sets bought before he was born and it was £38 then, the same as it still retails for now. You can buy it from the ELC website www.elc.co.uk and in their shops. Other retailers now carry the Happyland Range like Argos, Boots and Amazon-although you will need to check which stocks this train set.

The Train set itself is so simple to use and play with-that's the great benefit of Happyland. It's designed for children aged 18 months and upwards so therefore simplicity is key. The track itself comes in six pieces that easily slot together to form an oval shaped track for the train. There are four rounded pieces and two straight pieces that all connect together to form the one and only track combination (unless you want the train to run off the track at the end!) One of the straighter looking pieces is attached to the car crossing too. I think this is a really nice addition to this train set-you get a sports car and a man to drive it too and so in order to incorporate him and the car in to the toy there is a crossing made especially for the car. It's ramped on either side so the car can drive up to and over the track and you can put the barriers down to stop the car while it waits for the train. I think it's lovely getting the car element as an addition to the train element. It feels a little less 'standard train set'.

You also get the station platform which can be positioned anywhere but it is a rectangular shape so it slots nicely next to the opposite straight piece of track. You also get a moveable road sign for the 'Happyland Train Station' which can also be placed anywhere the imagination wishes. You also get two people as well with this set who can act as the passengers.

The train itself is red and black and painted in the traditional way. It has two carriages. One is coal filled so you can't really do much with it, and the other is hollowed out as a passenger train to fit one of the people loosely inside. These carriages both have little peg like hooks at the front and back to attach to each other and the front train in order to be pulled around the track. The main train itself has a hollowed out section for the driver who is also included in the set and the magic thing about this particular train set is that when you put the driver (or any other Happyland character) in the drivers section the weight of him pushes down and makes the train move! Removing the driver does the reverse and the train will stop. The presence and weight of the driver also is what instructs the train to make it's typical 'choo choo' noises too. As the train moves slowly around the track it will come to a stop of it's own accord when it reaches the station. After moments it's ready to go again!

My son absolutely adores this train set! It's the perfect 'first train set' and I can say I've not come across better thanks to the noises, the movement, the vibrancy, simplicity of the toy etc. Happyland has a chunky feel to all the various people and sets and this train set uses that and the beautiful way in which is moves as a great way to stimulate your child. My son loved learning that putting a man in the train makes it go forward, he thinks it's hilarious to knock him out so that the train stops and then put him back in-it goes on like that forever!

Happyland is what ELC describe as 'small play world' and I would agree. At the moment my son doesn't know what shops are, what cars and trains are but I know as he grows he will understand more and appreciate the role playing element of it even more. At his current stage of development he's happy to move the people around and touch everything, knock the train over and start it again and he genuinely loves this toy. So because of that it gets five stars from me.

At first I thought the price was a bit steep but when I thought about it I think it's not quite that bad, although I think a £35 price tag would be more than adequate. I have noticed the price of Happyland steadily increasing and the amount the range is discounted by is getting smaller each sale-which is sad. I assume it's because it's popularity is growing. Nevertheless though I will continue to invest in Happyland, not just because I like it but because my son enjoys playing with it!

The train needs 2xAA batteries which aren't included but ELC sell them at the counter's in their stores so you can get them there if your rushed. The packaging is easy, the stickers all come in place and you don't need to do any assembly other than putting the six pieces of track together-and it's ready to play.

As a mum, my take on this toy is 5 stars! It's so easy to get out and play with straight away, provides entertainment and holds my sons attention, it's already taught him something he didn't know and it will continue to give him something to play with as he gets older. I can't really fault it other than the price! Another reason I love it is because it taught my son to say 'choo choo' which is the most adorable thing I've seen! Therefore it's all worth it in my eyes!

Inside A Toddler's Brain

I just saw the funniest post over at Mummy's Space blog (http://www.mummysspace.com/) and had to post it as well as this PERFECTLY sums up every toddler out there! Found this funny-hope you like it too!

My Son. The Diva.

Today I am exasperated. Today I am a mummy on the edge (almost). A mummy who has been willing bedtime on since nap time finished at lunchtime. Ok, this is frequent because as much as I adore my son, I also find him very hard work some of the time. He is, for all his brilliance far too much like me and his daddy. Demanding, dramatic and stubborn. Bad days in our house can feel like the apocolypse-three tired, irritable and demanding people under one roof is enough to force me to consider throwing myself under the number seven bus that shoots past my house on the hour, every hour.

Ok I'm being dramatic (I told you I was!) but today really has been one of those days. My partner is currently off work with a back problem and I have a very irritable toddler thanks to his big teeth coming through. I'm tired, I'm skint (thanks to a large £200 specsavers bill-cheers guys. Should have gone to Specsavers? I think not!) and I'm fed up of having to spend every waking moment with my partner. Much as a I love him I would like him to clear off back to work again now. I need some space!

Add caption

My Darling Boyfriend (aka the most hated my man in my life and also my soul mate! I love him really)

So imagine my joy at waking up to a screaming toddler sitting on my head, my partner mumbling about something finance related (my cue to switch off) and you can understand why I instantly knew I was in for one of those days. Oh joy.

Firstly it poured with rain all day and I knew we needed to go food shopping and to said opticians etc. This caused problems because putting up a pushchair, inserting child, attaching rain cover all while steadily getting drenched to the bone tends to put most people in a bad mood. Add in to the equasion the fact that me and my partner had been hurling insults at each other before we left (obviously in my 'daddy I love the bones of you' voice as my son was wandering around) I was now,  p***ed right off at the whole world. By the time I spent £200 in the opticians I was ready to hate the world for the rest of the day with no further explanation.

My son has also spent the afternoon doing the best impression of a diva/evil child this afternoon. He wants attention-every second from every pair of eyes in the room-including Buzz, Woody and Talking Peppa Pig & friends. If he isn't getting it then the poorly participating character risks a screech in the ear, a growl and will also be submitted to witnessing a full on tantrum. Oh yes my son has become a diva since he reached the terrible two's...and he's only 16 months old! He practically transformed from my content, loveable, easily occupied baby boy to my tempremental, attention hogger, diva of a son. And today I would quite like him to be asleep so I can breathe and remember who I am!

From there my day has continued much the same. More disagreements over little things with my darling boyfriend (yeah I may just turn the hot tap on when your in the shower to get you back-Ice shower style. Call me immature but it will make me feel better!), my son screaming at me and clawing at my clothes to demand my attention every time I so much as avert my eyes one centermeter from him. I can honestly say that bedtime can't come soon enough.

Tonight my partner will be preoccupied with his friend who is here to watch football. My son will hopefully be content in the land of nod dreaming about milk, teddies and fluffy clouds. As for me, I think I will sit in my bedroom, in the dark and enjoy the silence. Yep, today has deffinately been one of those days.

Oh look here's my son holding a toilet roll as a prized posession. Yup. Tonight calls for a stiff drink. Or Two.

Love Chloe

xx

To Dress or Not To Dress?

Thinking about writing my blog today I got mental sweaty palms as I'm unsure as to what the response will be. People will either gasp in shock at my poor parenting skills or (and I'm hoping this is the case!) will reassure me I'm not the only mother in the world who does this.

We have had quite a lazy weekend in my house this weekend, it's been lovely and chilled out. My partner has taken my son out a few times while I got some housework done but I didn't leave the house for two days and by lunch time today I was practically licking the windows in anticipation of my venturing out of the house for my optitians appointment this afternoon-cabin fever anyone?! That said it was my sons turn to stay indoors today, which is unusual as we always go out at least once a day for something to do-Mummy would go stir crazy otherwise when it's just us two! So to get to the point here, my son didn't leave the house so..(deep breath Chloe)...he's been in his pyjammas all day. Ok there, I said it. Am I a bad mother? And this isn't the first time it's happened either.

In my deffence I personally don't see anything wrong with this, he almost always wears Next or Gap Snuggle fit pyjammas so they are very comfortable and versatile while he's playing etc and to be honest with the amount of poo, wee, food, drink and saliva (amoungst everything else that appears on my sons clothing in one day) he gets covered in each day I don't always see the point in dressing him if he isn't going to be going out. Most of the time I just dress him in 'comfy clothes' if we are mostly housebound-I mean nice comfy fleece lined joggers or combat trousers and plain tops. Don't get me wrong I spend a small fortune on Josh's clothing but it ends up mucky, sticky or unwearable usually within 30 seconds of being worn so if I don't need to dress him 'properly' some days, well, I don't!

Currently he's running around with a metal saucepan and salad fork in only his vest as he's currently learnt how to remove his clothing (especially soft and light pyjammas) and that means by bath time at approximately 6.30pm tonight he will still be wearing the same clothes I put him in 24 hours previously at the end of the night before's bath. Now I've typed it, I think it sounds worse and I'm having a huge pang of guilt!

Personally I don't do it because I'm stingy and don't want to wash more clothing than I already do, or for any other reason than I would prefer him to mess up his cotton pyjammas than his beautiful (hand picked by moi) and fashionable 'normal' clothing. I must also point out that my son is still only 16 months old-does that redeem me a little?!

So people of the blogging world what do you think, be honest because I genuinely would like to know if this is bad-mother behavior for which my guilt would give me a emotional slap on the wrist preventing me from ever allowing it again...or, is this common with others too?! Please let me know, I think I'm ready to hear the response!

Chloe (aka the potential bad mother of Joshua-Harry!)
xx

This Week's Lessons

My son Joshua is at that stage where he is leaning new things on a daily basis. His development fascinates me and every new thing he does requires me eyeballing him with pride every time he does it, and usually bursting in to applause, cheering, kissing and cuddling. You could say he only has to fill his nappy and I'm proud of him..well I wouldn't go quite THAT far, but you know what I mean.

One of the two things my son has learnt recently and is now doing regularly is what we call 'cuddles ahh'. I spent the first year of Josh's life heartbroken that he never wanted cuddles. It broke my heart that unless he was having a story read to him or a bottle fed to him then he wouldn't really want much contact-not a proper cuddle anyway, he always wanted a play partner, fun, laughter but not cuddles. I was especially gutted because I am such a cuddly person and so is his daddy and plus everyone always told us boys are much more cuddly than girls! I must say I felt a bit short changed for a while! So imagine my joy when not long ago my son picked up a cuddly toy (which he never shows interest in) held it up to his neck and cradled it there and went 'ahhhhh'! Excitement, amusement, love, adoration-well I felt it all in one second! I was so proud and copied him doing it with the teddy. Gradually he did it more and more and then he began to do it with us-I have never enjoyed a single moment as much as that first, arms wrapped tightly around my neck, legs around my body cuddle with my son loudly expressing his enjoyment too with 'ahhhhh'. I was the happiest mummy on the planet!

'cuddles ahh'

Since then he is a very cuddly boy and I absolutely adore it! I never refuse cuddles, and lap them up with glee! Although when I'm carrying the shopping in to the house I do find it hard to juggle and affectionate toddler and a million bags! I am also confused as to why every item in our house now suddenly deserves a 'cuddles ahhh'. The beach ball gets one, my handbag gets several even shoes, especially shoes get them. I guess I don't mind as long as to Josh I am still the main source, then I think we are ok!

So that's the first thing he's learnt. The second is to say say 'mmmm' in association to food. Josh now expresses his hunger when handed a snack, and does the same noise when he's eating his meals to express his enjoyment. Again it's very cute! Although my embarrassing moment of the week occured thanks to this new communication skill.

There we were in a coffee shop (I still can't quite believe I dared to delve in there alone with my son and assume we could have a civilised shopping pit stop for mummy refuelling) and I got my son out of his pushchair to pull over a highchair. Next thing I know, he's kneeling down in the middle of the quite small shop looking at something intently. I went over and before I reached him he had picked up a piece of leftover cake that someone must have dropped, and was holding it in his fingers going 'mmmmm'. Now this might sound sweet but the tone he used made it look as if I never feed him and neglet to introduce nutrition to my son. (I would like to point out that I do NOT neglet to feed him-quite the opposite infact!) He was that overjoyed he was practically salivating, and everyone was staring at me. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. It was as if he had found his lunch in that small scrap of someone else's food and I was the wicked mother who never feeds him!! I was mortified! Again it comes down to my issues with having a young face, people assume I'm a teenager when I'm in my mid twenties, have a mortgage etc. So with my son doing this and my young face I felt instantly that niggling voice inside telling me people were looking down on me and judging me. Put it this way I was that uncomfortable with the sideways glances I continued to get that I quickly drank my scolding coffee and legged it the hell out of there! Cheers for that one Josh!

Generally though everything Josh learns is very sweet at the moment. Cute, adorable and makes me beam with pride. However I too have learnt something recently. I've learnt that I can't control what comes out of his mouth or when it comes out. And I have a feeling this lesson is one that will go on and on for quite a long time yet! I dread to think of the many more situations we will encounter thanks to the innocence and curiosity of my son's young mind! Bring it on!

Love Chloe xx

Saturday Is Caption Day!

It's that time of week again-it's caption day! I've put a picture of my son below (if you can spot him!) what caption do you think should go with the picture?! Please post your ideas below in the comment sections!!

Happy Saturday!

xx

Selfish Mother or Great Parenting?

Ok so when I decided to start a blog I never expected to write about things like this but after reading something today I feel  compelled to. In fact the article I'm talking about, I actually read this morning and it's been on my mind since!

In today's issue of The Daily Mail, Kelly Rose Bradford a mother of one has gone on the record to say she will "NEVER let her ex's new girlfriend meet her son". There is a huge long article detailing her reasons and un-suprisingly already over 1,200 have commented on the article already since this morning.

If you read the article (which I will give the link for) you will either agree or disagree, but me? I'm firmly planted on the side of disagreement! Here is a woman who openly admits that part of the reason is her jealousy over the situation. Partly that and reading the rest you see that the other reason behind her decesion is the fact she is quite simply, a control freak!

Bradford's son is 8 years old and her and her ex partner seperated over three years ago. She is now detailing to him and the entire country that their son will never come in to contact with any woman he brings in to his life, whether they go on to marry and have more children or not! She explains she is doing this because it's what is best for her son. She also says that she is the one who carried him, gave birth to him and has raised him and it's a role she alone holds and will not allow anyone else to have a piece of.

My take on it? Well don't even get me started it's really riled me today! What a selfish woman! Who goes out and tells the whole country that she's a controlling, selfish mother who is only using her child as a weapon? I understand that every mother reserves the right to parent in a way that's best for their own child, and I don't usually feel critical like this. I can not begin to imagine the confusion that goes with that situation as at the moment me and my baby daddy are still together (wedding bells soon I bloomin' hope!) but I do have many friends in the same boat-split families. In an ideal world none of us as mothers would have to imagine the thought of our child being comforted, loved and enjoyed by another woman. Sadly in todays day and age it's common and unfortuneatly requires we behave like the adults we are and accept that when relationships break down this is the outcome.

Don't get me wrong if me and my baby daddy seperated the thought of my son being ill and cared for by another woman, having fun and laughing with another woman and even most pointedly-forming an attachment to another woman, well it all makes me feel a little bit sick. BUT if we ever do seperate then I acknowledge my sons need to spend time with his father and me trying to control who else is present at this time is beyond my right to control. Afterall if we make the decesion to part ways, part of that decesion is accepting we loose the right to control each other's lives. As for saying he would only be able to see his father one-on-one even if his father remarried and had other children? Disgraceful. The bonds between step-children can be as strong as anyone else's and it would be out of order for me to refuse him the option of developing this.

I want to point out at this stage that one thing I do disagree with is when a person has multiple partners, none of whom are serious, constant members of the situation. I think bringing in a stream of new partners is NOT good or healthy for a child to be around. Seeing that many new girlfriend's or boyfriend's is another way of giving the wrong impression of relationships. If this happened to me I would feel the need to step in and protect my son but I believe this to be a different situation altogether to a constant partner whom perhaps marries in to the situation and is therefore a constant role.

I will always be my sons mother, not a person on this planet can ever take that away from me or him. I know it hurts us all deep down to see our child bond with someone else-when I drop Joshua at his babysitters house and he reaches out for a cuddle with her, I get a horrible feeling in my stomach and want to snatch him back! But then the sensible part of my brain kicks in and tells me I should be so proud I am raising such confident, sociable and loving little boy. I think Bradford needs a bit of a reality check.

This woman is clearly going to give her son some issues. More than anything we lead by example and what kind of example is she setting? I also wonder what other weird idealism's she has that are affecting her son? And I think everyone will see the outcome of this when the son in question is older and showing dificulties in building/sustaining relationships, or at least some confusion to what a true, loving relationship looks like and how they work.

My best friend has a son from a previous relationship who see's his father every other weekend. The father has a 'new' partner (she's been around for quite a while) whom my best friend has never met. I find my best friend in this situation admirable, I know she finds it hard because she hasn't met the woman but at no point does she try and control a situation that isn't her's to control. I actually think it shows strength of character when a woman has to live this situation, not 'bad parenting' as Bradford implies.

But hey this is all my own opinion on this article but what do you think? Is Bradford totally right to deny her son this relationship or is she doing no good in witholding it from him?

As for me right now I take my hats off to women everywhere who are facing the prospect of a weekend without their child(ren) if they are with their fathers. Take comfort in the fact that you are doing excellent jobs as mothers to encourage healthy relationships, and simply doing the right thing-I salute you all!

Have a great weekend!

Love Chloe


xx

Article found here: 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2088534/Why-Ill-NEVER-let-exs-new-girlfriend-meet-son.html

My Son's First Break Up...With Peppa Pig

So I don't know if many other people have a child who is obsessed with a cartoon character? When I say obsessed I mean full on, awe and amazement everytime it's on the tv! Yes, my son is obsessed with Peppa Pig.

When I was pregnant I friend told me that a great way of giving your child something familiar to understand was to have the same cartoon on in the background from a very early stage. So from about two months old me and my son would watch Peppa Pig together while we had a cuddle. The episodes are only five minutes long so it didn't seem like a problem at the time.

At first he obviously had no idea about television but as he got bigger the effects took hold and everytime that familiar, repetative music would play his attention would be torn away and directed at the screen. Thinking this was brilliant as it gave me a few minutes peace to load the dishwasher etc I bought a Peppa Pig DVD and at certain times would allow him to have it on while he played with his toys.

It went from there really. Everytime it is on the television my son will stop, quite abruptly what he's doing and give the screen his full attention-I swear sometimes I have to remind him to breathe or his love of the show would forbid him from functioning! I even have to sit him down because he daren't move and risk missing something! Sweet yes, helpful-very! It means I get to distract him when in my everyday life I need to not have a shadow every second of the day! And it's enabled me to use the toilet again without having a pair of eyes on me every time! So for that I can't complain! I can admit I use my sons love of Peppa Pig to my full advantage but hey being a mummy isn't about doing everything 'right' it's about doing everything that works for me and my son. Well thats my opinion anyway!

Is it wrong of me to indulge his obsession with this character? I don't think so. He recognises Peppa on t-shirts, in books, on posters out and about and his excitement is contagious when he shares with me his beaming smile as he takes it in. I don't see him react like this to anything else so maybe I am guilty of encouraging it because I find it so adorable, but is there really anything wrong with it?

It was only recently after 14 months of his sheer Peppa adoration that I noticed something change, Joshua's attention was averted while Peppa Pig was on the television. I was that gobsmacked I watched him move around and couldn't even begin to grasp that he was more interested in fiddling with his shoe laces than watching Peppa. As quickly as it flitted away his attention returned to the screen. All was well in the house again...

Until it happened again, and again and now after a few weeks Josh is seemingly falling out of love with Peppa and I for one feel a bit heartbroken! He still likes to watch but it doesn't hold his attention anymore and I feel sad that his connection, his adoration seems to be fading away. Not only that but I've spent a fortune on Peppa Pig clothing, books, toys and dvd's and the realisation that this could repeat with more than one character over the next few years made my bank card tremble!

For now he's enjoying Peppa in moderation with other cartoons but he is deffinately on the brink of loosing his love for Peppa. With this I find myself asking, is this my sons first break up-age 16 months? Sadly, I think so.

I wanted to share with you all the first of many great ideas to help generate a little bit of extra income-which we all need with little one's running around!

Being January-which is always the month everyone is short of cash I thought you would all appreciate this! There is a website called DooYoo which is a user review site where you can write reviews on anything and everything and you get paid for them! Not only that but everytime the reviews are read you generate money for that too! It's another online community and the members are very loyal to each other so if you read a review of theirs, they will review one back and so on! Thus bringing in some extra money!

I find this an excellent multi platform site because you can read reviews on products you would be interested in buying, so to help you make the right buying decesion but you can also contribute in order to help others AND earn yourself some cash!

You don't need to be a whizz with words either, all you need is 150 words of your own personal opinion and you can submit your review! Easy as that! 

When you save up enough 'points' you can cash them in and can choose from a cash payout or Amazon voucher! With all those extra products that your household recieved over the Christmas period you will have so much to review and with less money than normal to fund a social life until pay day then I recommend you join DooYoo fo something to do, and some way to make money too!

Visit my page at DooYoo here for examples of my reviews! http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/member/joshuas-mummy/

Love Chloe xx

Well I've finally gone and done it. I've started a blog.

I've been thinking about it for quite a long time, particularly because I feel there is a gap for me! I'm a young (!) twenty something mum and I have found that 'young' mums tend to get a bad press. I have also found that people tend to look down on younger mums and stereotype us as unable to be the brilliant mums that we are!

I got the idea for creating a blog when after my visiting my third unsuccessful coffee morning/mums group I decided that I could create my own twenty something community of parents. After having my son and relocating for my partners job I found myself very isolated. Having a young face may be awesome for some but for me I found it meant that people assumed I was younger than I am and would therefore steer clear of me at toddler groups-assuming wrongly that I was a teenager. At this point I will say that I know some amazing teenage mums and I think they are just as well capable of parenting if their circumstances are correct. I personally hold no predjudice against teenage parents, however I know in Britain many people do-hence my isolation at mother and baby groups. Fed up of the embarrassment, and quite frankly rather annoyed, I decided to take the plunge and begin a blog!

So here I am! Voila! I guess I should explain that I want to be able to share my happless, crazy life as a mother of one with everyone out there as I know there are so many twenty something mothers out there! This blog will provide insights in to the daily life of a mother in her twenties who is just trying to get it right. Trying to get everything right-even if it doesn't always work! I hope my blog will be funny, inspirational, helpful and provide guidance on products and money saving ideas. If you think you or any other mums would find something helpful then please let me know by leaving a me a message. 

I just want you all to know that I want my blog to be the place you come when you have a few minutes peace, when you need to put your feet up and have a breather-and sometimes remind yourself what being sane looks like! I know I certainly forget in the mania of everyday life! So put your feet up, visit regularly and enjoy! 

Love Chloe xx