My Mummy & Housework by Joshua

I must write this quickly, before mummy comes back! She's always going on about her 'blog' and I must say at first the word 'blog' was a new one to me and I thought maybe her special drink hour had come early the first day she mentioned it. But no, she keeps going on about it and all her lovely new bloggy friends. At the moment she's currently roaming around the joint mumbling something to herself about a 'Making Family Chores Fun' post but I'm not really sure what she means because the postman's already delivered our post this morning. I know this because he always looks a bit scared and jittery when mummy answers the door in the morning. I think shes beautiful no matter what but the postman seems to find her sticky up hair, panda eyes and something called 'morning breath' quite frightening.

My mummy says that her house was always perfectly in order before I came along. Although I don't know why she would want all those fun things like the remote control, the hoover and the dvd case all neatly put away! Why waste such great toys, they were made to be played with and scattered everywhere after all! I keep trying to tell her that us toddlers have a magpie like attraction to...well anything we shouldn't really. She doesn't seem to understand the more she tries to keep me away from something, the more I'm going to try and get it. I've even heard her mutter some naughty words under her breath sometimes when she's found me doing something I shouldn't-like emptying the shoe cupboard. I was only trying to make sure she had enough shoes!

So while she's tidying and trying to figure out ways to keep me away from things I shouldn't play with (good luck with that one mummy) I try and get involved too, you know, just to help her. Mummy says that she hates our kitchen floor. I think it's great for sliding around on and spinning around on while I watch my reflection in the oven but she seems to think it's the "bain of her life" whatever that means. She does spend so much time looking at it and rubbing it though so maybe thats got something to do with it. So I've recently decided to try and help her make friends with it. She seems to like it when I use the dustpan and brush to show her how fun the kitchen floor is. Although when I start doing this I always notice she puts her feet up with a cup of tea. I've not sussed this one out yet.

Mummy is always moaning about the mess after tea time too. But I don't know what she's talking about, when I have the boys over for tea I'm happy to feed them myself. I don't expect her to provide a brilliant three course meal for me and my buddies, so recently I've taken to preparing my own meals when the boys come round. Just to make life a little easier for her, you know.

Then there is the dishwasher. This is supposed to be Daddies job but for some reason he seems allergic to it as I never actually see him near it. When Mummy asks him to 'do' the dishwasher he always remembers something else he should be doing. Mummies face goes a funny red colour when he says this but I know how many important jobs my Daddy has. Watching football is a very important job but I don't think Mummy has learnt this yet. So I don't mind helping my Daddy out from time to time, in fact I quite like 'doing' the dishwasher although Mummy didn't find it funny when I emptied the whole box of tablets in there, that did make quite a mess but I think she's forgiven me now. Those little wrapped tablets are the best thing ever, they make a great crunchy noise and they fit in all my hiding places, Mummy says more naughty words when she find where I  leave them for her. I'm just trying to make sure we always have some spare you see.

I also try and help Mummy with the washing up. She told Daddy that she 'bribes'  me while she does the cleaning with a few pots and pans. I don't know what 'bribes' means but I am only too happy to help wash up a few left over pans etc in my kitchen. We all have to pull our weight around this joint, and I'm not scared of a bit of elbow grease. Unlike Daddy.

Mummy seems to think that the best way for making chores fun is to get me involved. But quite honestly she's got it all wrong. Getting me involved with the chores?! Don't make me laugh! (Seriously, don't make me laugh, somethings brewing) I DO the chores in the house. Without me I think this house would fall apart, I do most of the cleaning for Mummy. I just don't think she's up to it without me.

But don't tell her I said that.

Love Joshua (aged 18 months) xx

**This post was written for the Morphy Richards Innovators Post Challenge**