Tuesday, 27 March 2012
Extreme Safety Measures
The world we live in is not one I would call 'safe' for children anymore. When I speak to my Grandparents they tell me in their day things were much safer, but then again I can't help but think this may not have been true. I think in my Grandparents age things still went on but just weren't talked about, far less published in the media. So I guess you could say with the adaptation of what the media will now print, which is usually more of the bad, awful stuff than the positives of life, I do now feel that this world isn't what I consider a 'safe' place for my child.
Since becoming a mummy I've found myself lying awake staring in to the pitch black as my other half snores away and my son rummages around in his cot in the next room. Listening to him innocently chase his dreams and occassionally crying out for me if he has a night terror makes me all the more aware of how innocent he is in this big bad world. The conotation of the big bad wolf and red riding hood springs to mind often. My son is so small, so new and fresh to this world and his beautiful and pure innocence is something I spend hours worrying the world could steal from him in one cruel swoop. I know it's normal to worry but it terrifies me.
I do everything I can to protect him of course. Like we all do as parents. Despite my fear of everything that could hurt him I have still been suprised lately about some of the procedures in places (which when your honest about it) which are to prevent the unthinkable things from happening to our children. For example the first time we took my son swimming, we left it late as I am not an avid swimming pool fan. My son was about 8 months old and he loves water and was splashing around with Daddy. There were only a handful of people in the large, exclusively accessed swimming pool including one older child whom I assumed was about age 7/8 or so. I got my camera out to capture the whole 'first swimming' experience, snapping away pictures of my son and partner. May I add at this point the pool was so empty no-one else was even half snapped in any of the pictures. Within no time at all the lifeguard had practically fallen over himself to get to me to tell me to put my camera away as you can't take pictures at a swimming pool. Now this might sound like an idiot thing to do but I genuinely had never heard this before so was quite suprised. When I thought about it though it made a lot of sense. Swimming pools mean people with lots of flesh on show etc so I can see the logic of not allowing photo's but I did draw the line when he asked me to delete the photo's I had taken. I refused because after showing him no-one else was in them, I wasn't about to delete them, there was to me no point. He let me keep them but advised (ok told) me to not do it again. Happily I agreed I wouldn't.
Then there was the time not long ago we took my son to a soft play centre. He was in his absolute element! Happily running around like a mad child burning off some steam, snapping away (yes I'm one of those mummies who likes to take photos, so what!) I was proudly pointing my camera at him when I was told I wasn't allowed to take pictures in there. Now this one did shock me. Children are fully clothed at soft play centres and I couldn't see the harm in taking a few snaps there when for the most part they were of him only with the occassional half limb of another child. It's not like I was snapping away at every child possible, because then I could have understood it. I was only interested in photographing my own child.
To me this is a step too far. I know the world isn't a safe environment for our children but not allowing photographs to be taken in an area where so many happy childhood memories can be made seems extreme. And this is coming from a parent who worries about the potential nasties of the 21st century. I know fully about the dangers and exact workings of certain types of people who could cause harm to children but this doesn't mean I think rules like these are a good idea. I don't see what they are protecting to be honest? There are other ways of policing photographs like this, the staff should be trained to look out for the difference between a happy parent making photographic memories of their child and a person not doing this. Don't remove the right to photograph our own children from us just because some people will abuse this.
Of course now that I have made the mistake of using my camera in these places, and now I have been informed this isn't acceptable I of course will abide by the rules not to do it again. Abiding by the rules doesn't mean I agree with them. The swimming pool one I can understand, nudity etc and it seems safer but a childs play centre that is alien to me.
I do indeed look at the flip side and look from that point of view but I DO have experiences that I wish I didn't and yet my opinion still remains the same about these rules being extreme with regards to soft play areas. What do you think? Should soft play areas allow photographs to be taken or do you think it's safer that they aren't allowed, bearing in mind your hardly likely to even be allowed within ten foot of one of these places without a child of your own in tow. Which I know doesn't rule out the risk altogether but does narrow it down. I would be interested to know what your thoughts are on this so please comment below. But as for me, I still think this is extreme even though I spent an hour laying awake worrying about the awfullness of this big bad wolf world that we live in.
Love Chloe xx
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i totally agree, when its photos of your child you should be aloud. at our play centre you sign when you go in to say that photos might be taken by other parents and if you have a problem you have to opt out and then everyon id informed, ive never seen anyone opt out, like you say people in these places would not be let through if they didnt have children with them anyway, so should understand parents wat to photograph there own kids. it whats my mom like to call 'do gooders' laws x x
ReplyDeleteLike you, I understand the need for rules around this, but enforcing them very rigidly takes away the opportunity for some fantastic pictures!
ReplyDeleteWhen I visited my nephew recently we went to a local park, me, my wife and nephew's dad. There were no published rules on photography. Even had there been, there was no-one to enforce them. But I felt incredibly nervous about taking photos of my nephew when it was obvious to anyone that he wasn't actually my son. No-one said anything, and I'd have been able to prove I'd done nothing wrong if they had, but it was distinctly uncomfortable.
Luckily, I got some great shots of him having fun on the swings, which made the worry worthwhile! :-)
Chloe when do you ever sleep my lovely? ;-) I totally understand. It is really difficult to make memories for your children and your childrens children to look back on and say wow. When all the while we have to be careful not to include anyone else in those pictures. It is even more sad when a Church cannot use pictures of pupils and Church members who performed a concert together because of child protection etc. It breaks my heart. I always try not to get anyone else in the background of pictures when out and about. Unfortunately I was made aware of these 'rules' about 12 years ago when working at a playscheme! Oh how times change hey. xxx
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is I don't know! I truely have no idea the answer. It seems simple and innocent enough to take pictures of your own kids in a soft play area. But those rules are obviously there to prrotect children, and it seems a simple enough rule to follow... so why remove? But like you said your kids & fully clothed ect. Anyone can argue both sides! Good article, its brings up insteresting points.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. I understand the reasons behind the rules regarding not taking pics when there are lots of kids around but I think they should be 'policed' differently. At a recent UK holiday destination my husband and son were having a ball splashing around in the swimming pool so I got my camera out and instantly there was a loud whistle blowing from the lifeguard followed by a stern telling off! I was rather humiliated at the time but pretty peed off when I thought about it afterwards. It was clear to see I was taking pictures of my family, if I had been in the pool on my own, not swimming and snapping pics of other peoples kids then the telling off would have been justified!!
ReplyDeleteRant over.
Great blog.
Aimee
It is a shame that the default setting of society is to assume that everyone is bad rather than everyone e is good! I too totally understand the swimming pools rules- even if i think it is a shame. But to apply that across the board to anywhere children are is surely too extreme. I know with my elder 2 we have forms from school to cover their backs , and have even heard of cases where nobody has been able to photograph school plays because one parent objects. Thankfully not at my school so I have a full compliment of nativity play photos to look back on in future years!Great read- thanks!
ReplyDeleteI personally wouldn't have a problem with someone taking photos- as long as they weren't just of my children- that would be a bit freaky! You're right, it has gone too far. I always roll my eyes when I sign forms to say I consent to the pre-school giving appropriate First Aid to my child. nope I'd rather they left them to die :-/ the other one that gets me is schools not being allowed to apply sun cream. Obviously it is better for a child to burn than have someone apply sun cream. and I am as over protective as they come!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a balancing act.
ReplyDeleteWe just wanted to let you know your blog has been nominated as Parentdish Best MAD Blog Writer and you could be in with a shot of winning some fantastic family festival voucher and new children's bikes. If you'd like to get involved, you can find out more and download a badge to let your readers know about the awards from our website www.the-mads.com
I have to say i'm a bit of a rule breaker and sneakily take photos of Seb even when i shouldn't, the only exception to this is at the swimming pool where it would be a bit obvious for me to whip out my phone or camera but i haven't taken pics of him ready to go in the changing rooms. I make sure i don't get other children in although many people aren't so careful. While i was doing my degree one of the reasons we were told to be careful when taking photos(we did case studies of children) was due to the photos possibly having children in the background who have been fostered/adopted and with these photos now going on fb etc for the world(possibly their natural parents) to see. xx
ReplyDeleteI must say Chloe, that I think the entire issue is completely overboard and ridiculous. Where else in the World do parents (or anyone for that matter) have to worry about the "Photo Police" finding a reason, no excuse, to pull rank and make you feel like a criminal. We all take photos on holiday, in the park, at the seaside. For goodness sake - look at all the tourists in London (and everywhere else on the PLANET) snapping away. Honestly, you'd think there weren't REAL issues to police and deal with!
ReplyDelete