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A Twenty Something Mum - Welcome! This is the blog (daily ramblings/observations) of your normal twenty something single Mummy! I love to write, paint, learn, listen, watch and bake cupcakes. Yup just your average Mummy in an average household!

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Deborah and Ariel Levy

The Levy Children

 So as you know by now when I see or hear about something that I feel strongly about, I find it hard to stop thinking about it. This weekend, entirely by chance I was directed through a twitter link to an article about an American Couple.

Deborah and Ariel Levy are what would appear to be any normal parents. Mum and Dad to two sons and a daughter, living their everydays lives in America. Look a little closer and you see that their daughter has Downs Syndrome. Their daughter Kalanit is now four years old with two older brothers. So what's the problem I hear you ask? They are suing their healthcare provider for 'wrongful birth' saying they would have aborted their daughter if they had known she had Downs Syndrome. Yes, it's one of the most disgusting thing's I've ever heard.

The couple conceived Kalanit when Deborah was 39 years old so they were keen to have all the tests that would act as a warning to conditions including Downs Syndrome. As we all know, mothers over 35 years old are at increased risk of their child having Downs Syndrome. So doing the sensible thing the Levy's had the tests. Although the scans did show some things to be concerned about the amnio test came back clear so all seemed to be well. However sadly after Kalanit was born she was diagnosed with the syndrome and it was realised that the amnio had actually removed tissue from the mother not from the fetus. Hence why it came back clear when Kalanit had the condition.

So fast forward four years and the family are now suing their healthcare providers for over $3 million dollars for their daughters 'wrongful' birth.

This case has really played on my mind since I read it. I find it deeply disturbing and also increadably sad for this little girl. Her parents are not only standing in front of a Judge and a court, to tell them they wish they had aborted the child and therefore technically would prefer it if she wasn't alive. No, they are also standing on the worlds stage and saying this too! It's the biggest insult to so many other people. It insults the parents of children with Down's Syndrome, illnesses and disabilities as well as those people who are unable to conceive at all. In fact I think it insults any parent.

In my opinion every child is a gift, a blessing. And my twitter friend Sarah Bage @LittleFellandUs sums it up perfectly. Her son has disabilities and in her blog post here she writes about how having a child who is born with something like this is what it is. It can't be helped, it can't be changed and acceptance in imperative. The Levy's are standing there trying to throw blame around for something that can't be blamed on anyone. I find this typical of today's society-always got to have someone to blame rather than accepting the facts and moving on. People always have to have someone to blame and point the finger at.

The Levy's say they love their daughter as much as their other children but I find myself asking, how can this possibly be true?! They are telling the entire planet they wish they never had their daughter! It's a disgrace to her life that she is allowed to live with them if you ask me. I think they should send Child Protective Services in over this (the American version of social services) and remove the child from their care. Place her with someone who is happy and loving and accepting of her the way she is. In my experience with children with Downs Syndrome (which admittedly isn't vast) they are the most loving, kind and wonderful children. Equally as capable of happiness as any other child.

Now not for one minute am I disregarding how difficult it must be to parent a child who suffers from Downs Syndrome or any other condition. No way. In fact I salute parents like that and think they do amazing jobs. And in all honesty when many of them recieve that earth shattering news about their child, I'm sure in their darkest moments they consider abortion or question whether they should have followed that path. I think that is understandable. Whatever decesions they make, what for me is wrong and not understandable is to then blame the world for it and stand and say on the world stage that you wish your daughter wasn't alive. Because effectively that's what they are doing-remember the court case is for 'wrongful birth'.

Kalanit's brothers love her and accept her and I think the parents could learn a lesson here about pure, true love if they only spent the time looking closely enough to see their daughter is beautiful and loving rather than a drain on their finances. I think it's important to think of people like Chris Burke a well known actor and goodwill ambassador who was born with Down's Syndrome. He is the perfect example of how a child with Downs Syndrome can excel and acheive as much as any other child with the love, guidance and support of their parents. I find myself asking how much Kalanit will be encouraged to acheive by parents who wish she wasn't there?

So my lovely readers what do you make of this? Are you as shocked and disgusted as I am, or do you think I'm looking at this from the wrong point of view? I would be interested to hear your thoughts.

For now I'm going to leave you with the link HERE for the original article if you want to read it.

Love Chloe xx

6 comments:

  1. A really interesting post and very emotive article. Although I do also feel sorry for the child that her parents think like this, I can't help but feel that a) the article was written by someone who had made up their mind and b) the situation is not as black and white as it is portrayed. I think the wording 'wrongful birth' etc is horrendous, but I have no knowledge of either the American health or legal system and it could be that to progress a case you have to use some dreadful terminology. When my daughter was on continous oxygen therapy as a baby, the paperwork was dreadfully worded and to access any support at all be it finiancial or someone to have a cup of tea with, you had to tick boxes with some phrases you would never dare say in public. She now has some very mild development problems that may either be short-term or lifelong, but we have had access to lots of special and additional needs groups recently and have met lots of parents from like us, mildly affected to the very severely affected children. Things are never as straight forward as they look on the tin, and until you are in that situation I think it is very hard to judge. Before I was "exposed" for want of a more suitable word to this community, I vastly underestimated both the cost, time, need for support and mental capacity of looking after children very affected. I don't think many, if any, parents begrudge their children or withold love deliberately, but I think it is something they give very serious and considered thought about, especially if they already have a family with their own set of needs. The report does say that 89% of people terminate pregnancies with a Down syndrome diagnosis-the remaining 11% just don't sue. IAlthough on the face value, I agree with you and your opinion, I don't believe that parents saying if they had had a much clearer choice back in the pregnancy before viability they would terminate is the same as wishing their 4 year old was dead. And if I am wrong, I would be surprised that people who made such a claim publicly in court would have any scruples about putting their daughter into care themselves.

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  2. I imagine that the legal process is making this sound terrible. Maybe they are just parents trying to get some money to help their child with the additional care they will need during their life, to make the child's future secure. I know that many people in the UK get money from the NHS should something happen during birth that causes disabilities (if medically negligent), when you hear how much they get you think its an enormous amount, but then if they can't work they need the money to support themselves for their entire life. It might be that all the legal wording (as per the previous comment) makes it seem like they don't want her, but in reality they are just using the system to make those who had been negligent in performing the test provide for her extra needs financially.

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  3. Thanks for your comments, they have really got me thinking about this. However I do think it's important to remember that in America everyone pays for their own medical treatment and care which in turn means the Levy's would be receiving the support they need to help raise their child and so to help ease the cost of paying for care etc because it will have been covered by their premiums. Therefore I understand they will need help cover the cost of her care but my opinion is that no matter what I wouldn't stand up and say my child had been born by 'wrongful birth'. I'm sorry it may sound like I'm on my high horse a little but I just wouldn't do it. I know you have to go along with legal wording in these things but still not every parent with a child with Down's Syndrome sues for wrongful birth do they?

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    1. Maybe the other parents you are talking about had testing done accurately and had time to make the decision about whether or not they could handle it. These parents had already made that decision, that's why they were having the testing. They didn't want this. They had a right not to want this. We all have these rights. I am glad I have these choices. Their choice was taken away by the mistakes made by others. A jury of 12 of their peers found the medical establishment liable. I guess those 12 are all horrible as well? What if this wasn't about this particular topic....what if you went in for a mammogram and someone read the results incorrectly. By the time they find their mistake, your chances of survival are nothing and you will leave behind your family. Do your survivors have a right to sue over the medical mistakes made? This is hot button only because it is about a child with special needs and we all go on about it and judge people we truly know nothing about. There is accountability in medicine. They have to be held to high standards....because as we see these are people's lives we are talking about.

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  4. I'd recommend you read Jodi Piccolt's novel 'Handle With Care' about a similar (although obviously fictitious scenario but told largely fro the Mothers point of view. It's very good I think given how strongly this article has made you feel you'd enjoy it x

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  5. Their little girl having down syndrome has nothing to do with the medical care provided or doctors. I am so sick of people sueing for rediculous reasons that are beyond anyone's control. I'm surprised they kept her after she was born, if they would have killed her in the womb. The only thing changed is her location! All I can say is they appear very ignorant!

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