Ok so this post has been half written in my draft folder for quite some time now. It's one I want to write because I am genuinely interested about the response. I don't mean to cause offense or upset anyone but I am genuinely a little confused on certain elements of blogging etiquette.
So there is a huge number of parent bloggers out there. In fact my virtual world of mummy bloggers/twitter friends is a constant source of companionship in my life. Especially as I don't have many friends and no family where we currently live (we relocated for baby daddies job last year). Having my online mummy friends have given me so much support and friendship that I feel strong affiliations with many of my followers/readers etc. I have my laptop on for most of the day and am usually sneaking peeks even when I'm supposed to be doing something else. Yes I'm addicted but I love it and I don't care!
So recently I've found myself wondering a few things about what is and isn't 'the done thing' when it comes to blogging. We all blog for different reasons, we talk about different things and we want different things back. I think the variety is why it works so well for so many. After all we wouldn't all read the same thing over and over now would we!
However I have found myself getting a little caught up recently, there seems to be a little bit of a bum fight going on over the success of blogs. And I've seen an invisable 'line' recently become all too clear. There are some very succesful bloggers out there, with thousands of followers, then there are some equally brilliant blogs with less than twenty followers. There is klout, ebuzzing, facebook followers, google+...all these things which helps us promote our blogs but all rely on numbers to do this. I fear that some of us get caught up in the popularity levels of our blogs and forget why we do it. But hey ho that's fine, each to their own. I'm just saying this because I have found myself becoming worried about my blog, do people like it, is it good enough, is it giving the message out that I want it to? I have found myself registering with so many websites I've lost track to 'help' my blog. I've got so caught up in promoting it that I was starting to forget that I started blogging to reach out, to connect with other mums and most importantly to form friendships in this virtual world. I feel like I've taken a step back the last few days and really put it back in to it's rightful perspective. (By the way there is nothing wrong with blogging for followers, raising your profile etc-like I said we all do it for different reasons, and there is no right or wrong).
I've actually come to LOVE my blog, deeply. It's a part of me. I love to make people laugh with my posts, I like to host some good competitions with prizes people actually want to win and I like to talk about things that matter TO ME. I hope they matter to others too but my blog is my little piece of the world. So when the odd person takes the time to leave hurtful, hateful comments on my blog it's like a huge kick in the teeth. I pour my heart and soul in to this blog, it's a real life line for me and what I say is what I genuinely think or feel. I apologise if this causes offence but I reserve the right to have an opinion and to share it here, this is after all my safe haven. My blog. Just because I put my thoughts out there to share with you doesn't mean I'm inviting you to be nasty back. I really enjoy people saying they disagree with things I say, and leaving constructive comments explaining-after all we are all entitled to have our own opinions. That's part of the world, being civilised people means we can discuss our differences in opinion without it being something that causes offense or hurt. So I don't appreciate people seeing my blog as a place to rant, to pour out their frustrations at the world. Nor do I appreciate seeing it on other people's either. It's totally unacceptable to me and undeserved.
You know who you are. Yes I removed your comments, so please stop searching my blog on a daily basis for them. I can see you doing it, it shows up on my stats that every day since I deleted your comments you have come back and searched for them. I would prefer it if you didn't do this anymore. I am the author of this blog and I don't want things like that here. I appreciate constructive critism but there is a difference. Please take your opinions elsewhere. I will not reply to them, or come down to your level and I will not allow someone who is such a coward to say such hurtful things while hiding behind the 'annoymous' tag to upset me. To be honest, you look pathetic in my eyes.
To everyone else-was I wrong to delete such comments? Being a blogger I've only ever deleted these particular comments, none of the others. Should I leave them there when I don't like them or appreciate them, or even want other people to see them? I'm not sure what the protocool is on these things?
When it comes to blog popularity I also want to stress the importance of giving the 'little guys' a chance. I read all sorts of blogs, newbie blogs with no followers and hugely established blogs with thousands of pageviews a day. It would be nice to think that everyone is getting a fair crack of the whip but I do think that some people are too caught up in the popularity of their blogs to bother with the smaller blogs. I just don't like to see people missing out, and worse giving up because they think their blog will never reach successful levels. I want to say this, don't stop blogging. Remember the reason you started and always come back to that when you feel a little downhearted. Your blog success is only noted by you as the author because you know what you want to get out of it.
Ok Rant Over.
Thank You for reading.
Yes I'm having a stressy moment!
Love Chloe xx
Aww well I think you did the right thing not publishing nasty comments. Who needs negativity right?
ReplyDeleteAnd I know what you mean about blog popularity, I have never had many followers despite blogging for a while now but remind myself my blog is for me, I write it because I enjoy doing it and even though I only have a small following I know most of the people that are on my followers list either are, or are likley to become genuine friends and not just another number! x
Really enjoyed this post Clo, couldn't agree more with what you've said. Blogging is competitive no matter what anyone says to the contrary and it does seem that some of the most successful parenting bloggers have their own little clique and don't bother much with the newbies. I didn't know you'd been getting nasty comments, how horrible :o( The most unpleasant comment I ever got turned out to be my Mum! I'll keep reading as long as you keep posting & I'm so happy I found you as a fellow newbie- you are my blogging sista! *does sassy finger click while pouting* xx
ReplyDeleteIts your blog, so you can delete comments if you want, or leave them, the choice is completely yours. I think its revolting that someone would write nasty comments. If they want to disagree with you thats one thing (as you said, its a debate) but being nasty is just being nasty for the sake of it. Don't get hung up on it - thats what they want you to do. Ignore them. I'm a new blogger (knitty mummy) and I got really paranoid the other day when someone tweeted that bad things were being said about me - it was just a scam to get me to click on something (I didn't click), but it upset me. I realised pretty quickly that even if someone was saying horrible things about me that I still have readers who do like my blog and they are the only ones who matter.
ReplyDeleteThis is really interesting. With my fashion blog i never joined any sites to promote it, they weren't even around when i started, i just did it because i enjoyed writing about clothes, its not one of the huge blogs but i am happy with that as i never wanted it to be my life.
ReplyDeleteMy mum blog again isn't something i have done to get get followers, of course its lovely having someone follow and comment but i actually quite like just talking about what i want and its nice to look back on.
Blogging has given mke loads of opportunties i never even thought existed when i first started.
You are right to not publish nasty comments, some people just look for people to be nasty too. Theres a certain fashion blogger who gets so much hate mail from people its unreal but she just ignores and carries on.
I agree with the others, you are right not to publish nasty comments....ignore them and dont give them a second thought xx
ReplyDeleteSome people are ridiculous!!! Hon, just ignore them. If they are like that online, you can only imagine what they are like in real life!
ReplyDeleteAs you say, blogging is in your opinion, which you are entitled to. People need to learn that if they wouldn't say it to your face in real life, they should sit on their hands.
Whatever you do in life there are people just waiting to try and spoil it in some way! You sound like a perfectly lovely and reasonable person and its just a shame that someone has to get in the way. I don't know much about blogging, but I wish you every success and happiness.
ReplyDeleteSome people write for the stats, some for themselves. Some are competitive and others not. I'm okay with all of them. Even if it differs from what I believe. The blogging world is big enough for us all.
ReplyDeleteWhat I do find completely awful is that someone would leave you nasty comments and then keep returning to your blog to see how you've reacted - differing opinions is fine, nastiness is just awful. You're right to deal with it in whatever way you're comfortable with.
A comment on the popular blogs - I really don't mind whether they pay attention to me or not. They have busy lives and have put in the hard graft to be as established as they are. They don't own me anything and I don't expect anything from them. I do find them very approachable and open to any questions that I have though. The ones I've talked to have offered great advice when I've asked for it.
I think your blog is really interesting and you should run it in whatever way makes you feel good about it and about yourself.
No one has the right to leave nasty comments on your blog. All your posts are great. I think there are some very nasty people out there, sad to the fact that they have to hide behind a computer to write negative crap. You were right to remove them, I wouldn't want people like that on my blog.
ReplyDeleteSome people do see blogging as a massive popularity contest! I only have 23 followers on mine as much as I would love more, I know I have my regulars who follow what I write I'm not on this to see if I can be miss popular I blog because I enjoy doing it and enjoying reading peoples comments. I do feel that I need to post quite alot which sometimes I can't (as you can see!)due to having my little one and being busy which I have been recently!
Your blog is great and if anyone has anything negative to say then they can do one!!!
xxxxx
Oh my gosh Chloe I can't believe people would stoop so low! Your blog is wonderful how can anyone find anything nasty to say about it?! Feeling a bit emotional today and now I'm in tears again! Why can't people just be nice to each other and support one another. I read all your posts and think you are a great writer.x
ReplyDeleteGreat post (again!) lovely! I know that sometimes blogging does get to me and I need to remember that even though I've been doing it for 8 months I am still a newbie with so much still to learn. I still have very few followers and I am very envious of you as yours grow daily on GFC, but I am not me and no one knows I do this, hence no real names. I am sure if my friends knew they would follow. (or not!) As for you getting crappy comments- delete them you don't need them and they obviously have nothing better to do with their lives, your blog is fab and I wish it was mine!! xxx
ReplyDeleteDelete these comments! You dont need them, nor deserve them your doing a great job. I love reading and can relate to all your post. Remember: Haters gonna hate!
ReplyDeleteHave you been reading my mind dear Chloe? ;-) well you know how I feel about nasty comments (especially ones written on posts 2 years old - another story entirely). Delete them unless you want to make a public show of them and let their silly words make them look stupid and as pathetic as they really are. On the other hand why give them the time of day. Surely if they have nothing better to do then they are less of a person than you are for you have a child, a fiance, a home and family to love and look after!
ReplyDeleteOn blogging I often get caught up in the numbers game but this year I am writing for me. I would love 500+ followers and one day I may get there but for now I write for me for my release in my own time. Like commenting back. If I read someones blog I will catch up and write back when I can ut with a 3 yr old running around I too (like you) have a life not just a computer! *hugs* xx
Chloe I just found your blog after you left a comment on Emily's post over at Life of a Single Mummy and I think it's brilliant! I too often get caught up in finding ways to increase followers and stuff. But it's awful that you seem to have a blog 'stalker'. I hope after you've posted this that they stop. If not, can you block them? I think it may end up being the only way. And please don't let it stop you blogging! We're all entitled to our five minutes of blog fame xx
ReplyDeletehttp://confessionsofasecretshopper.blogspot.com
Good post! I often wonder how on earth people get so many followers on their blogs! I'm a complete novice, competely in awe at the size of the mummy blooging neywork! And am finding I quite like the chance to join up with things, like the gallery weekly photo post etc. I think being a mum can be quite isolating and find this gives me a way to connect up with people.
ReplyDeleteKeep doing what you're doing I always read your posts when they pop up in my timeline x
Great post sweet. I am *very* new to this whole blogging thing, although I have read a couple of mummy blogs for well over 2 years now, and love them. I write my blog mainly for myself - and I figure it's something that my boy can look back on when he's grown and see all of the funny things he did when he was too young to remember. It amazes me that anyone would even want to read my ramblings, but it's lovely that I have a follower (thank you!) and there seem to be a few returning readers that aren't following.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do in life, there will always be detractors and people who think you are wrong, and will tell you so. Anonymous commenters filled with hatred are never good - who needs to read that? I agree that you should freely delete any comments that you feel don't belong. Keep blogging though hun, don't let it get you down xx
It is your blog and you are entitled to do with it what you want to. I personally really enjoy reading your blogs. I wouldn't worry about any of the nasty comments, you get trolls on most sites that are there just to be nasty and at the end of the day they are the sad people who need to get a life NOT you. You keep being true to yourself and ignore anyone who doesn't like it.
ReplyDeleteSorry I have only just got around to commenting. Your blog is exactly that! Yours! You are free to delete and comments, especially ones that are nasty. As you say, constructive criticism and different opinions are fine, but mean comments are not!!! Hope they come back to check and see this!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and I can really relate to it all. Another new blogger, with a lot less followers than you, I blog to use my brain- with a 7 month old for company it's nice to give it a metaphorical stretch! Would love more followers but having even one is so great! Keep doing what you do, you are great at it!
ReplyDelete